


Logan Khuu, disaster human being

by moonjuicewiththepresident



Series: Sides Marching Band AU [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Marching Band, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Disaster Gays, Homophobia, Logan Needs A Hug, M/M, Misgendering, Platonic Logince - Freeform, Racism, Swearing, Transphobia, accidental tho, human beings are assholes, teachers are assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 15:52:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18524725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonjuicewiththepresident/pseuds/moonjuicewiththepresident
Summary: Throughout his entire life, Logan Khuu hasn’t exactly had it easy. Things will eventually get better, right?Spoiler Alert: They do





	Logan Khuu, disaster human being

When Logan younger, people made fun of him. After his first day of kindergarten, he came home crying. The other girls at school wouldn’t sit with him, they said their parents wouldn’t want them sitting with a terrorist. When he tried to sit with the boys, they called him a stupid girl and pushed him down. His parents tried to console him as best they could, but he couldn’t understand what he had done wrong. He tried to be nice like his mom had said, but they had just pushed him away. He didn’t like them much.

____________________________________________________________________________

In middle school, it wasn’t much better. It had escalated because of his personality. He liked to wear his hair short, wear flannels and plain shirts. His favorite color was blue, and he really liked to read. He liked makeup though. He did like to wear a skirt every once and a while, and he liked boys. He just felt like he wasn’t enough for everyone else. 

During the fall semester of 7th grade, a boy moved into Logan’s school. He first saw him before school talking to the band director, Mr. Keig. It was odd. He was wearing a red leather jacket, which was slightly too large for him, and red converse. Mr. Keig pointed over at Logan and the new boy grinned. He practically flounced over to Logan.

“Hi, Lihn,” He grinned “My name is Roman, and I really like your shirt!”

“Hello,” Logan raised an eyebrow “Why are you talking to me?”

“Oh,” Roman frowned, then his smile quickly returned “Well, I went down to the office and they told me that you would be my guide! Mostly because you’re in band, but it doesn’t matter I guess. Anyway, what do you play? I play the trumpet, and I really like it! Sorry, I just get really over-excited, or at least that’s what mamá says. Sorry, how are you?”

“Uh,” Logan blinked “Yes, I’m in band, I play the french horn, and I guess I’m okay. To be fair, you are quite a nice change of pace from the normal, slow, bumbling speakers in this school. I also find your shoes pretty cool.”

____________________________________________________________________________

 

“LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIH,” Roman groaned, rolling off of his bed and thunked on the floor. “WHY IS IT NEVER EASY.”

Logan looked at him, rolling his eyes. “Leave me out of your boy troubles, Roman. Plus, this episode is really good, so shut it.”

They were both in Roman’s room, watching Doctor Who. It was the 10th Doctor, with Rose still around, of course. Doctor Who was one of the only shows that they could agree on, combining Logan’s love of science fiction and Roman’s love of drama and fantasy. 

Roman’s room was, well, to say the least, almost as extra as himself. The Portuguese flag was hanging right above his bed, which was decorated with red and gold. There were posters of different drum corps posters everywhere and his trumpet on a stand. He had flamingo fairy lights decorating his bed frame and a white and gold comforter donned with decorative pillows. His ceiling had different constellations with glow in the dark stars, the main one being Capricorn. His room was a physical representation of Roman’s ADD. 

“But he’s so cute,” Roman whined into his carpet “And I’m nothing. He’s like the sun and stars, and his eyes are the moon.”

“You understand that he likes you too,” Logan appealed “But you’re too stubborn to get it through your thick skull. Besides, Patton told me that Virgil is CLEARLY interested in you.”

Roman rolled over and smiled wickedly at him. Logan decided very quickly that that’s his least favorite of Roman’s expressions. “Sooo….. Patton, huh?”

“God, no,” Logan blushed “Besides, He would never really like me like that anyway. He deserves better.”

“Lihn, we’ve been over this,” Roman sighed “Any guy would be ridiculously lucky to have you, much less deserve you. You are Madison Scouts 1988 personified, hell, even Sky Ryders 1987. Lihn, you are the most wonderful girl I’ve ever met.”

Logan felt like crying. He had always felt less for what he was, who he was, what he was born as. Over the years, he had the same dilemma. “Who am I?”. He couldn’t tell anymore. It’s like he wasn’t comfortable with his own skin. He couldn’t even stand his own name anymore. “She” just felt plain wrong. With all the vocabulary in the world, he didn’t think that he could describe what he was feeling. When the laundry had been sorted out, he had accidentally gotten a pair of his brothers boxers. He couldn’t help but stare, and he couldn’t stop. He never gave them back.

“Thanks, Roman” He whispered.

“Hey,” Roman stood up and sat next to him “What’s wrong? You’ve been… off lately. I’m kind of worried.”

“I don’t know,” Logan shrugged “I can’t tell anymore.”

“Whoah, hold your horses, sister,” Roman shot him a worried look “That’s not good to not know your feelings. Can you at least describe what your feelings are like?”

“Well,” He sighed “It feels like a crushing weight on my chest, like I’m not comfortable. Every single fiber of my being has their alarms going off right now like something is wrong, but I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s like no matter what I do, I can’t feel comfortable in my own skin. Even the small things about me feel wrong. My name, the things I feel like I have to wear, even what you call me. It just makes the pressure feel worse, and I just can’t handle it anymore.”

“Have you asked your parents about seeing someone about this? I mean, I see a therapist every other week it’s worked for me. You never have to do this alone, you know that, right?” Roman took Logan’s hand, smiling at him softly. “Remember, I’ve always got your back, no matter what.”

“Thanks,” Logan smiled weakly, wiping his eyes “You’re my best friend in the entire world. No one could ever take that from me. Thank you for everything.”

“Remember, you’ve got the entirety of 9th grade ahead of us! Who knows what adventures may ensue.” Roman shouted and waved his arms dramatically.

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Marching season was not fun. Logan felt sore, sweaty, sunburned, and even words that didn’t start with the letter “s”. Worst of all, his section leader was blatantly racist, homophobic, and misogynistic. Why did Roman get the best section leader, while he was stuck with the asshole, Addie?

The worst part was probably the dressing rooms, where the girls kicked him out, calling him a lesbian, so he ended up just changing in the gender-neutral restroom. At least some of the assholes were seniors, so he had a chance of having an okay time next year at least. He would quit band, but he had already paid the outrageous fee, and he loved playing french horn too much. 

The only good thing about it is hanging out with Roman after rehearsal. They would hang out at Logan’s house and would watch Gossip Girl. Logan was too tired to protest, but he was finding that he was actually enjoying it. It was messy and complicated, but it was quite funny and the plotline was interesting.

“Hey, Roman?” Logan hesitated “I kind of need to talk about something.”

Roman frowned and switched off the T.V. “What’s up, Lihn?”

“I think…”

“What?”

“I think I might be a boy.”

“Oh! Okay,” Roman smiled, then looked over at Logan. “Hey, why are you crying? I’m really glad you told me.”

“I’ve just never told anyone before, and I’ve wanted to for so long,” Logan cried. Roman shuffled over to hug him, encasing him in a warm embrace. He was certainly soaking Roman’s shirt with snot and tears.

“I’m so happy you trust me enough to be the first person to know,” Roman whispered “It takes a tremendous amount of courage to come out to anyone, and your so strong for this. Lih- or, uh, what would you like to be called now?” He awkwardly laughed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

He hesitated. Was it good enough? Would Roman like it? What if he thought it was dumb? “Logan.”

“Hi, Logan” Roman softly smiled and reached out his hand “My name’s Roman.”

“Nice to meet you, Roman.” Logan laughed and shook his hand.

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Junior year was already off to a rough start. He even prepared for this year, but apparently not enough. He had gotten his hair cut the day before, shorter than he’s ever gotten it. He even set out his clothes out the night before and packed his backpack. Roman facetimed him last night freaking out about what he was going to wear.

Two of his teachers already have refused to use his pronouns, and refused to use his “nickname”. A few people gave him looks of sympathy, but most just snickered. He felt embarrassed and was about to cry. Patton was there though. He always made Lo feel better.

“Hey,” Patton whispered over to him “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just hate this,” Logan whispered back and wiped his eyes “I don’t understand why they can’t just leave me be. I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?”

“Oh, no, they’re the ones who are wrong. You are perfect the way you are. Don’t let them get to you, sweetheart.”

“Lihn, Patton,” The teacher glared “This is not social hour. Please pay attention and stop flirting.”

The whole class laughed, and they both blushed. Logan’s eyes started to well up, but Patton reached over and squeezed his hand and smiled gently. Logan smiled back.

Thankfully, they all had the same lunch. They all sat at the same table they’ve been sitting at since freshman year. Roman plonked down next to Virgil and wacked his head on the table. He let out a guttural groan.

“You good, Princey?” Virgil smirked.

“Ugh, why do I hang around with you? You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“It’s because you loooooove me~” Virgil sang. Roman laughed and shoved him.

“Y’all need to chill.” Logan rolled his eyes “I’d rather not have PDA with my sandwich.”

“Hi, Lo!” Patton practically skipped over “Oh! Hi Roman, Hi Virgil!”

“You were saying, Logan” Roman grinned cheekily. Logan rolled his eyes while Patton just looked confused.

“What’s going on?” Patton tilted his head, almost like a puppy.

“Logan’s got a cruuuuuuuush~” Roman sang while Logan groaned. He swore he could see Patton frown, before returning to his bright sunshine smile. Why do feelings have to be so difficult?

____________________________________________________________________________

 

By his senior year, Logan had everything down. His teachers respected him, his parents accepted him for who he was, and he was band president. The only thing he couldn’t wrap his head around was his feelings for Patton. He knew that what he was feeling was affection, maybe even love, but he couldn’t understand why. He didn’t deserve his bubbly charm, his beautiful smile.

But he couldn’t think about that now.

FIVE, SIX!

And there we go. The football team had just scored another touchdown, and at this point, everyone was tired of playing the fight song. They had one of the greatest football teams in Texas, so they played the fight song more than any other song. It was past half-time, which meant drum-line was over in the student section, so everything sounded strange without percussion. However, during the second half was when they got to play the fun stuff.

Logan sighed. He could see Roman dancing around in his section, laughing and shoving each other. The only fun things that the mellophone section did were suicides, which were very dangerous, so only the upperclassmen could do them. He was glad he was the section leader. He was able to guide the mello’s through high school successfully, and he corrected a lot of some of their behavior. At the beginning of the year, there were a handful of transphobes in the horns, but he made sure they understood.

He heard the telltale click of the metronome and quickly looked at the others flip-folders to see what they were playing. Sweet Caroline, one of his favorites. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Patton running down the stairs from the baritones. Logan shrugged, maybe he just had to use the bathroom. He quickly snapped his horn up to attention and started playing.

When they got to the chorus, he heard a bunch of screaming, and yelling. He looked around, fairly annoyed that most of the mello’s had stopped playing until he saw him.

Patton was up on the drum major podium, his face covered with glitter from pre-game rituals and he was holding up a sign that said “Logan, I really CAREoline about you. Homecoming?” Logan’s face split into the biggest smile and he ran down the stairs. Patton had just reached the ground when Logan tackled him with a hug.

“God, yes! A million times, yes!” Logan’s eyes were shining with more happiness than anyone had ever seen. Patton gave him the biggest grin in return, his shoulders slumped with relief and happiness.

“GET A ROOM, Y’ALL” Roman hollered while giving them a big thumbs up. Logan could see Virgil snickering over in the colorguard section. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“Alright, lovebirds, get back to your sections!” Mr. Mirales smiled. A simultaneous ‘Yes sir’ and they ran up the stairs, hand in hand.

____________________________________________________________________________  
.

It was his second year of being in drum corps. Last year, Roman and he were in the same corps, but Patton and Virgil were in a different one. He’d felt more alone that last year, but at least he had Roman. This year though, they were all in the same group. Logan felt whole again.

Drum corps was a very accepting group. Everyone understood each others needs, and respected everyone. They were all the best of the best, and they were expected to act like it. There was no discrimination between members of a different nationality or of the LGBT+ community. The directors even let Logan use the men’s restroom and changing room, much to his delight.

He’s even met more people throughout the summers. Of course, he already met Ethan from going over to Patton’s house so often. He played in the pit and was a marimba god. He met Ethan’s datemate, Remy, the head bass drum. Even Thomas, the drum major, had become one of his close friends after Thomas had accidentally thrown his baton at Logan’s head. He finally felt accepted. He finally felt like he had a home.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, hi? Me pushing my feelings on poor Logan? You betcha.
> 
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr @moonjuicewiththeory and be updated whenever I post trash like this. Kudos and comments are appreciated, but please don’t repost!!!


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